Name: Narendra Reddy
Comments: I am ready to help others.
First of all to start off this is my second marriage as well as for my wife
too. I was introduced to my wife through my granny, who had her relative
look for a girl for me. We went and met her in her uncles (J.R) home in Nellore
Town, AP, her own home is in the village. Little did I know her Mother and
Father don't live together as Man and Wife in the same village, they live
separately, I found this out later, my wife told me herself. To make a long
story short, we met in September 2005, and the marriage too place in July
27th, 2006. My family and I live abroad, we are PIO (Persons of Indian
Origin). So this was a great opportunity for my wife to come abroad. She
comes from a poor family background. We married in Shirdi Maharashtra,
as per my wishes, and they agreed, it was a simple wedding. Since it was
both our 2nd marriage no formalities were expected from me. My Parents
never attended the marriage, they decided to let my granny look after it
and they gave there blessings. After our initial meeting in 2005, at her
Nellore Uncles (J.R) home, my wifes other Uncle (P. R) from Hyderabad
came to meet me, to size me up and see who I am, he came with her other
uncle also, this was in Nellore itself. My wifes family all have intermarried
each other, so her uncle (P.R) from Hyderabad is her mothers younger brother,
I later found out her uncle (P.R) is the biggest Dalal. Anyways back in 2005 both her
uncles met me with my Granny, they ask me standard questions then they
say, they want me to give my to be Wife 2 lakhs as safety money in case
something happens tomorrow, since I have 2 children from previous
marriage. I tell them no, and that I also dont want anything from them, (NO DOWRY was asked for, nor given) just
simple wedding, they readily agreed. (This should have been sign to me as
red flag that these people were after money right from start.) Anyways,
they mention that I should come to get married May 2006. I came back in
May 2006, ticket booked in advanced, then they say marriage is only good
date in July 27th, I agree. I also planned to look for a flat to purchase for
my brother. My brother wanted to purchase a flat in Hyderabad for a while.
I asked my to be wifes uncle (P.R) in Hyderabad to help me locate some flats.
He agreed. Her Uncle lives way outside the city, although it is still considered part of the city.
Her Uncle (P.R) didn't know anything or any parts of the city, so I had to tell him
all the directions. He took me around to a few places I located, on his
Motorcycle. Initially he took me around on his days off work only, maybe
once or maximum twice per week. I mentioned to him my brother was
going to purchase the flat for himself, and I would get the necessary work
done to finish it off. The Flat would not be mine, I dont have that kind of
money. I guess inside he thought I was bluffing, and it was really mine. It
was my brothers money for the downpayment and even the home loan
was all his effort. I mention to my wifes uncle (P.R) that the flat should be in the
45-50 lakh range maximum, we located one, but it wasn't up to par, poor
location and bad vasstu etc. I made one mistake I mentioned to my wifes
uncle that my brother had wired in 45 Lakhs. To make a long story short,
after locating this one flat, mediocre at that, I told my brother to come
down to India to see it to finalize the deal. He came in the beginning of
July 2006, he took one look at the flat and rejected the unit. At that point
we contacted one of our own relatives to also come and have a look at
it himself to see if it was worthy or not, he said it would be tough to resell
later. Anyways to make a long story short, our relative had his real estate
agent start looking for flats, and he finally located one after about 2 weeks
of my brother coming. We had our relative also meet the builder of the flat
we like and all was finalized and my brother signed all necessary
paperwork. All the while my wifes Uncle (P.R) had no idea what was happening,
well truthfully non of his business anyways. My brother never had any
interest to meet my wifes uncle (P,R), nor my wife either. (My brother really was
dead against my marrying anyone in India again for a second time, I
ignored his advise.) My brother had his business and friends to meet and
he was busy with that work. Well the flat that we finally decided on was
not in our range of 45-50 lakhs and was closer to 70 lakhs, so a home loan
needed to be arranged. In the mean time my brother had to head back home
to the US. Before he left we were advised to have him arrange a Power of
Attorney, so we went to a lawyer I had met previously, and that was all
finalized and he left after 2 weeks of his arrival, roughly second week of
July 2006. Before he left our relative also introduced us to an home loan
agent to work on the remainder of the money, now I had to finalize this
part. As this home loan agent who was suppose to get all the paper work,
he was slow and inefficient. In the mean time I got married in Shirdi, I bore
the cost of the travel for my relatives to come. Only 3 people on my side
came, and 5 from my wifes side came. Her Uncles (P.R) wife didnt even attend,
this is how cost efficient they were with the wedding arrangements. When
we arrived in Shirdi a day before the wedding date, her 2 uncles went to
arrange at that time for a venue, finally they located a decent temple for
the wedding and all my relatives and I went and saw it and agreed with it.
In Shirdi you cant get married in the Sai Baba main temple and only some
outside temples allow marriage to take place. Well 40 minutes before we
were to get married on July 27, 2006 my wifes Uncle (P.R) from Hyderabad calls
me up on my cell phone and tells me, that the temple we had looked at the
day before wasn't available because of prior engagment, and they had
found suitable venue in the hotel they were staying in (this Hotel is basically a rat infested dump). At first I couldnt
believe what I was hearing, and put the phone down, then phoned her
uncle (P.R) back and said I would pay for the temple myself if thats a problem,
he said no no, it is booked off for another engagement, see there is no
way I could really find the truth since I dont speak Hindi. Anyways I got
upset and mentioned it to my granny who arranged this match, and she
snapped at me saying these people are better then your previous father in
law. This was all rubbish. (Another major Red Flag I ignored.) I had let my wifes
relatives start to abuse me right away. All her uncle saw was a rich NRI
and that there was no need for him to spend money on this wedding. I
bought a 1.5lakh Gold Wedding Necklace for my wife, this was an
investment as I looked at it, all my wifes own Jewelry isn't worth even 1
lakh altogether at the most. My wife looked at the necklace and said she
didn't want such a huge piece of jewelry, all reverse psychology, which
her uncle (P.R) coaches her with, I found this out much later, when its late of
course. Anyways I decided that the best way to protect it is for me to keep
it in a bank locker, I never gave it to them, neither did they insist on taking
it, there reverse psychology worked against them, I believed them that I
should look after it. (I just thought it was best for me to keep it since they
dont have proper means to safe keep it.) Anyways the wedding finally
took place shot gun in the run down hotel lobby area, and my nephew
(P. Kumar) took the photo's with my digital camera, they never
bothered to arrange any photographer, nor did I ask them to, again cost
efficient on there part. Bottom line her family made sure they had no
expenses what so ever. My wife works in a hospital (B. Hospital) in
Nellore, as a Cashier, and pharmacy assistant, earning 3000 rupee's.
Originally my granny told me she was a Nurse, this is the reason I went to
meet her, then found out she can't speak English also, my granny said
these are good trustworthy people and they were related to her, so I was
convinced and agreed on those grounds to marry this women. It is her
Uncle (P.R) in Hyderabad who little did I know is hand in glove with my wife, (the Dalal)
she reports everything to him and he controls her every move, I almost
wonder what else he does with her, you will see why I say this little later?
Anyways moving on, to make a long story short. We get married and
come back to Hyderabad, and I have a small problem were to live with my
new wife, since I still have to arrange for loan for flat and then complete
the woodwork etc. Getting back to the home loan, the agent who my
brother and I met was a dead beet, and wasn't achieving anything and I
decided to go and meet him with my wifes Uncle (P.R) in Hyderabad, to speed
things up. Well once we arrived at the banks office to meet the agent, my
wife uncle (P.R) tells me his agent who arranged his home loan for 4 lakhs
works in the same office, I said oh great and ignored him, I believed that
once you give all your papers to one agent its not fair to go and talk to
someone else. Well non the less her uncle just goes over to the
receptionist and ask to talk to his agent, and he comes out and they insist
on talking to me, my own agent is out at home at this time. To make a long
story short, her uncle convinces me to give all the papers to his agent
and he would get the loan for sure, to make a long story short after the
end of August 2006 the loan is approved on my brothers paper work, and with
his speedy delivery of all documents, its approved on my brothers merits. As a nice
gesture I purchase a Microwave oven worth well over Rupee's 5000 and
give it to her Uncle (P.R) for his efforts in getting the loan, and thank him. Big
mistake to thank him, he now things that it is because of him that the flat
was purchased and without him the deal wouldnt have been complete.
(hogwash my brother would have purchased someother flat.) I am more
then convinced his loans agent at the bank must have given my wifes
uncle an nice fat commission for this large deal. All the registration is
complete by September 2006. In the mean time from August 1st to middle
of August my wife and stay in her uncles place in his 1 bedroom house, I
tried to locate a place but without luck, the home loan kept me
preoccupied almost full time. Anyways approximately Mid August 2006 I
decide we should go out of town for a while, we go to Pune for about 4-5
days, the return to Hyderabad again, this time to stay in a hotel (Hotel , in Lakdikapul) for about 2 more weeks away from her
Uncles (P.R) place, only to visit on occasion. On one such visit in the afternoon,
her cousin sister, that her uncle (P.R's) wife, remember they are intermarried
from same family. Well her cousin sister tells my wife in private, "oh have
you quit your job in the hospital?" My wife says no, and then comes back
to me and tells me her cousin said this to her, and she maybe correct that
she should go back to work in the Hospital, since its been over 1 month
since she has left. Well I insist I would find a flat or house to rent and we
can live there, but to no avail, and she goes back to her home town
Nellore to work in the hospital, and live in her womens hostel. From
September 2006 till January 2007 I use to make trips to Nellore, which is
also my birth place, its more of a small city now. Each time I visit I have to
stay in a Hotel bearing the costs , her mom and father live in there own
villages and have no home in the Nellore, and her Nellore uncle has a tiny place.
Anyways I must have visited 4-5 times over the 4 month period, and while
there my wife would still be working while I am there during her shifts, and
come home and sleep at nights. I would normally visit for about 4-5 days
at a time, in the mean time since the loan and flat was now registered the
next task at hand was to finish off the wood work inside the flat, this was a
major undertaking. Well in the mean time my parents wanted to arrange
for the house Puja, and the date was set for January 25, 2007
approximatly. My parents arrive 2 weeks before approximately January
12th 2007 or so. My wife never comes to meet my parents nor does her
Uncle (P.R) who is in Hyderabad nor any of her relatives, my parents land in Hyderabad, her Uncles
lame excuse his wife is out of town, I guess he couldn't meet them at the
airport or at my relatives place where they stayed, either? Getting on to the
House puja, my parents go to Nellore , to meet my wife and stay there in
our relatives home till the time for the New house puja. One day before the
puja all our friends and our relatives come along with my parents, and my
wife. Non of her relatives even bother to come to the Puja even though I
personally invited them all, nor her mom or dad. Anyways I arranged for a
hotel for the couple of days before the puja and entering the flat. The day
everyone came to Hyderabad her Uncle (P.R) shows up at the hotel like some
kind of hot shot he thinks he is. He shows no respect to my relatives who
are very humble although they are extremely affluent and wealthy, and
talks like an idiot to them, showing off like he knows it all. My father feels
uncomfortable with her uncles (P.R) ways, and decides to leave. In the mean
time her uncle takes my wife to the side with me present, and tells her basically dictating to
her, ok you come to my place today and stay there, come on my
motorcycle, at that point I tell her no you stay with me, holy cow what is he
up to with her? Did I marry her or did I also marry this clown? (Refer
above where I mention that I wonder what else her uncle is up to with her.)
What kind of person would tell his niece who is now married to come to
his place instead of to stay with her husband, and that too after a long time since we have met? Well to cut to the chase, her uncle didnt like my parents coming to India to do the House Puja, that establishes the fact that the flat is not mine. (Right from the start I have never hid the fact that the flat is not mine to my wifes uncle (P.R).) This clown was hoping that I was only saying that the flat wasnt mine, but it actually was. Actally one day before my parents arrived in Hyderabad for the puja, I had to get some
work done and my wifes uncle (P.R) again insisted on helping, and to make a long story short, I required the flats registration papers, and while I had them he insisited on looking at them as if he has the right to. Anyways I let him look at it and he went through it page by page, and then he saw that the flat was registered in my brothers name. He Then started to show his true colors. During the Puja time which with our luck was in the middle of the night literally, he roamed around the flat like a loan shark, not saying a word, and his eyes looking at my parents who were doing the Satya
Narayanan Puja, that wasn't what he wanted to see, if my wife and I were the ones to do the puja it would establish that it was my flat, now this was not the case, and the registration paper added fuel to the already growing fire in him. Well to cut to the chase, after the puja was complete still major work was going on in the flat, and according to tradition one has to stay in the flat after the puja for 4-5 days. Well in the mean time my wife was getting itchy to go back to work in the hospital, I insisted once again that she stay but to no avail, her uncle (P.R) called the real shots in the background. To make a long story short after the house warming Puja she left, that was the last time we met again, that was approximately late January 2007. Now the fun begins. After the puja was finished January 25rd approximately, for more then 30 days her Hyderabad Uncle (P.R) never even bothered to call or visit any of us, neither did my wife, she normally would call me daily, but never called for more then a month. I called her myself several times in that period. One occasion was February 14th Valentines day, when I told her happy Valentines day, she simply replied same to
you. Very odd, and very cold. Then again 2 weeks passed and once again I started phoning up and this time, I started suspecting that her uncle (P.R) was trying to instigate some nonsense. So goes the story, and my hell begins from then on. Well for the next approximately 2 weeks, I lost no joke 13kgs no less in weight, I looked like I just came out of a concentration camp in Germany. Well my wife was
starting to talk tough to me and nasty, being very sarcastic, and I dreaded calling her up, I could see that her uncle (P.R) fully coached her and she did his bidding, these two are like two peas in a pod. Cunning the both of them. Well through the whole marriage I hardly lived with her for 1.5 months at the most, she made no effort to live with me nor even cook, when she was in the flat with my parents and others. I asked her this very question and her reply was, oh come back to India now and I will cook for you (We are all back home abroad). Anyways I made sure I never talked harsh with her the few times that I called her. And in the mean time her Uncle (P.R) started to call up after a months hiatus. Well at that point he insists to me that my parents and I should come to his home for dinner, interesting no call for more then 30 days and all of a sudden we should go to his place for dinner. Well I told him they were going out of town. Then one day out of the blue, I called him up while he was at work and told him we wanted to go to his place, he was caught off guard and
said oh no no my wife wont be at home now, all lies he has so much
control over his wife, he doesn't even have a phone in the house for her to talk with, in case she does something stupid. Well my parents had
bought his son some cloths and wanted to drop them off. But we tried, he was up to something, maybe get us to start a fight or something then call police or make threats, only gods knows what his plan was for the
dinner? It was a task to convince my parents to leave India also before they wanted to leave, fortunately there Passports were going to expire, so they were motivated to leave sooner then later.
Now I don't know if 498a has been filed, how can I find out, and what else should I be aware of? I want to clear this mess, and get divorce. From
talking to my relatives in our native place these people are looking for money, simple. They advice to clear them off, and pay them something.
How much and what is the process to get a final divorce. And after
divorce can they still try to put a 498a on myself and
my family? Should this statement be filed in Police station in Hyderabad and Nellore, to Pre Empt there attempt for a criminal case (498a), and also apply for Divorce? I have no interest to file for divorce first, let them ask first. Please help me find a good reliable Lawyer in
Hyderabad who is trustworthy, any location but he must be honest.
Thank you and God bless,
Narendra Reddy
