Name: Akashdeep
Comments: Marriage date: 4th February 1999
Husband name: Akashdeep Bhardwaj (36 years)
Wife Name: Anuranjani Bhardwaj (32 years)
Daughter: Shriya Bhardwaj (7 years)
On 12th November 2007, my father-in-law took my wife & daughter along with all her belongings that she had choose to take from our home. He assisted with my brother-in-law, took my wife and my daughter to Gurgaon where they reside.
The events preceding my wife’s leaving our home and taking away our daughter are as follows â€"
On 7th November 2007 â€"
• My wife attended the Diwali party with our daughter in our society and returned at 11:30pm.
On 8th November 2007 â€"
• My wife left home with our daughter at 9:00am informing my mother that she is going to meet her friends and returned around 8:00pm. This was on Choti Diwali and she missed the puja at home.
On 9th November 2007 â€"
• My wife informed my mother that she was going to Gurgaon with our daughter around 1:00pm. She again missed the puja and did not even inform us that she had reached Gurgaon and would be staying there for a couple of days.
On 11th November 2007 â€"
• My wife came back at around 9.00pm with her brother only on 11th November 2007. Her brother told us that she had to undergo an endoscopy check at Gurgaon. Her brother told us that we should not let her do any household chores as she was not well. But she’ll still continue to attend the school.
On 12th November 2007 â€"
• In the evening I tried to reason with her about her behavior in recent days, her secretiveness (I was not told about the endoscopy test), she became angry and told me that â€" I will show you what I can do, I will make you suffer, I will leave you and stay with my parents in Gurgaon.
• My mother and sister-in-law tried to pacify her but in her fit of anger my wife told them (in a loud voice) to keep quiet and that she did not even wish to speak to them.
• She always directed her anger against my mother and my mother has been having high BP problems due to the trauma.
• Worried about my mother’s health and my wife’s uncontrollable anger, I called my father-in-law and told him politely that she was misbehaving with everyone and he could take her to his place (Gurgaon).
• He told me to bring her to Gurgaon myself if I liked.
• I replied that I am too tired as I came late from office and told him to come himself, for which he agreed.
• While we were waiting for him and realized that our tiff could be sorted out ourselves and I started discussing with my wife, asking her why she was behaving in that manner and what problem she was facing or why she was angry and behaving in such a way. We began to talk and exchange our views as I always wanted my wife and daughter to be living happily together.
• Again I called up my father-in-law, told him that we are sorting the misunderstanding ourselves and he need not come. He told me that he wanted to speak to her as well and take her view. My wife however told him that she wanted to go to Gurgaon and started packing her bags.
• I thought once he would come we will sit and talk and resolve any misunderstandings.
• While we were waiting for her father to come, instead two police men (PCR) came to our house saying that my father-in-law had lodged a complaint against me that we were stopping her from leaving the house, which was not the case at all. Later two more police men came from Sector-23 Police Station & the PCR men left. My father-in-law and my brother-in-law arrived immediately.
• The police men in their presence asked my wife if there was any fighting, beating, misbehavior from my side for which she said NO. She just mentioned that she wanted to leave and go to Gurgaon with her father. The police told me it was a simple case of “man-mutav†(mutual-disagreement).
• My father and I tried to talk to my father-in-law but he did not reply and turned his face away.
• My father-in-law, brother-in-law and my wife immediately packed items they could find from our cupboards (like documents, school bag, books, belongings, shoes, jewelry, clothes) in suitcases, bags, and even bed sheets that they could find from our room.
• My wife, along with our daughter left with my father-in-law and brother-in-law on her own free will in the presence of the police men.
• They called the police when it was not required. This whole episode came as a shock to us and has led to immense mental trauma.
On 18th November 2007 â€"
• I called my wife & in-laws on their mobiles but they did not respond to any of my calls. Extremely pained at such behavior I thought of giving them some more time to think over the issue.
• As I had some urgent work in Dehradun I went there with my parents and brother.
On 22nd November 2007 â€"
• While still in Dehradun, I got call on my mobile from Vasant Kunj PS Women Cell in New Delhi mentioning a complaint against me by my wife and that they wanted to hand over a summon for a meeting.
• My father & I tried to call and talk to my in laws & wife but none of them responded and in fact kept disconnecting our calls.
• We immediately returned back to New Delhi the next day.
• Our common friend (who had in fact gotten us married) tried to talk to them but my in-laws did not speak to him. In fact my in-laws did not even speak to their own relatives on this.
On 26th November 2007 â€"
• We received summon for a councilor meeting at Nanak Pura Women Cell with my wife and in-laws with the time as 3:30pm and date as 30th Nov 2007.
On 30th November 2007 â€"
• We went to the Women Cell for the meeting.
• My wife did not specify any reason for leaving our home except for that her self esteem was hurt and that she wished to separate from me.
• I tried to request and talk to my father-in-law but he did not listen and further mentioned that he is only supporting his daughter’s decision & also that he was suffering for past eight years (Now this was a surprise as he has never mentioned in last 8yrs the reason of his suffering).
• I love my wife and daughter and wanted that we stay together and have maintained during our meeting in the Women Cell that I would like a quick reconciliation and we all go home together happily.
On 10th December 2007 â€"
• We went to the Women Cell for the meeting again.
• My wife came with her brother and again said that she wants to separate and does not wish to talk.
• We asked for the copy of the compliant made against me, but the Inspector and ACP refused saying they cannot give it.
• A list (6pages) of personal documents, belongings and details of gifts and expenses met during our engagement, marriage and post marriage was given to me by my wife.
• The ACP told me â€"
o Submit my Admit List signed by me stating which items where with me and available or not.
o In case any items were not there or intentionally hidden, she would put a case/section on me.
o Get documents mentioned in the list by my wife (Passports, Voter Id card, DOB certificates).
On 13th December 2007 â€"
• We went to the Women Cell for the meeting, but the concerned ACP was busy.
• We met the Inspector but my wife again said that she wants to separate and does not wish to talk.
• We again asked for the copy of the compliant but the inspector again refused.
• The list of items we were given was incomplete, so we asked for more time.
• The inspector has given us 28th December 2007 as the next date and also told me go and talk to my in-laws home and try and reconcile.
• As advised by the ACP and Inspector we returned the documents (passports of my wife and my daughter and voter id card of my wife).
On 15th December 2007 â€"
• I went to my in-laws home in Gurgaon, but only my brother-in-law was present.
• I tried to discuss with him and requested him to help me and save my family. He told me that he will make life miserable for anyone speaking to his sister in high tone. He also told me that my daughter does not need me and they were talking care of all her needs (taking her out, movies, chocolate milk, buying clothes etc).
• Later my wife called me and told me that it is her last call, her time has started, I should not come to her father’s place or try and call any of their phones else it would be a big problem for me and my family. I asked her to at least let me speak to my daughter. My wife simply said that my daughter is happy, does not want to talk to me and disconnected the phone.
On 17th December 2007 â€"
• I went to the Women Cell and under RTI submitted an application that I want a copy of the compliant made by my wife so that at least think about a proper reply.
• The lady at the RTI counter told me it will take 40days and would be given only if the ACP and my in-laws agree to give it to me.
After stating all these incidents, I would like my wife and the Women Cell to ponder over the following issues â€"
1. I have always very close to my daughter ‘Kunkun’ as we fondly call her. I spend a lot of time with her playing, drawing, reading stories, teaching computers, unlike many new-age fathers.
Then how did my wife have the heart to take her from my home at the middle of the night? I called up on my wife’s mobile. I understand that my wife is angry. But why did she not let me talk to my daughter even once all these days when I miss her so much.
Do I not have the right as a father to talk to my daughter?
2. Since the time we got married, my in-laws have been advising my wife on everything. I perfectly understand the bonding between parents & their daughter, I don’t object to my wife talking to her parents any number of times during the day. But is it justified that my in-laws should tell her what gift to buy for my wife or decide where I should take my wife for the weekend. My parents who stay with my do not intrude in me and my wife’s personal matters.
Is it prudent for my in-laws then to intrude in my family matters so much as to create differences between me and my wife?
I only request that decisions to be taken for my family would be taken by me and my wife and not any third person.
3. I always cared for my wife when ever she was sick. I got her gall-bladder operation done in Gurgaon & Thyroid treatment done earlier. But I would know of a sickness or a problem only if she shows symptoms or tells me. Does she realize how it feels when I get to know about her endoscopy check from my brother-in-law after the tests have been done?
I have a valid mobile number then why was I never informed about the tests? More over if she was not feeling well, why did she not tell me about it, before leaving for Gurgaon?
As she was attending parties, meeting friends during Diwali I assumed she was fine. How would I know that she was sick?
4. Finally if she has any differences with me, she could have discussed it. I firmly believe that mature grown ups sort out their differences by talking it out. I, my mother, my-sister-in-law â€" all tried to talk to her the day she left, but she just refused to talk. Again I called up on her mobile but she refused to talk. Even my in-laws were not ready to talk.
The problems have not been discussed even once, then how did they decide so soon that separation was the answer?
Do they think that by breaking my marriage they can break down the ties of over 8 years between my, my wife and my daughter?
This kind of separation will only lead to all the families being unhappy.
Despite all the above I would be more than happy to live together with my wife and daughter so that all of us can be happy.
Akashdeep Bhardwaj
